A beautiful soul once told my sister, who passed it on to me, that "there are no accidents in the universe." I have always believed that every individual in our lives and all that has occurred has taken place for a reason. For the past couple of weeks I have been more aware of my surroundings, the people that are a part of my life, and those from the past who continue to pop right back up into the present. As cliche as this may sound, I am writing this because I just want to remind those of you reading this, as well as myself, to tell your loved ones how much you actually love them. Sometimes words may not come out the way we would like them to and in that case, a simple hug or smile can go a long way. It's funny how the world continues to test me and show me all different kinds of truths in the most interesting ways.
Last week, a friend of mine told me that one of her good friends passed away, Monday was my sister's best friend's one year death anniversary, and today I received a phone call from my best friend that had me teary eyed while I listened to her express the pain she was feeling when she found out that her aunt had died.
With all of these individuals in mind, I remind myself to cherish the time I have with those who are in my life because tomorrow is not promised. Death can rob the most beautiful characters on this planet and leave us questioning ourselves, "Why? Why him? Why her? They were so young! WHY GOD, WHY?" It is only natural to wonder why, but to an extent that one word can leave us in ruins. Do not question yourself why, but use your memory to appreciate the time you did have with that individual when they were still physically present. This sequence of events has left me with an even greater appreciation for life and for those who are in my life right now. Hug your dad, have a conversation with him, kiss your mom's cheek, embrace the little ones, laugh with your friends, and smile at those you do not know because they might cross paths with you once again in the future.
We may plan for tomorrow, next week, or next year, but life does not promise us anything. Those we see today, may disappear tomorrow. What we say or do next week, may affect us next year or further into the future. I guess what I am trying to emphasize is this: tell those around you how much you love them and show them how much you care because regretting the actions we did not take or words that were never spoken, will only kill us inside.
Use the present to make memories for the future that will not leave us asking why, but leave us smiling as we remember how we made our time with that person absolutely worth it.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Today, Time Did Not Exist
While we were temporarily isolated from the outside world, simply hanging out in a garden sparked the inspiration to capture the timelessness that nature engulfed us in and the beauty of this October weather.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Random Thought
The silence taught me to recognize the truth.
It wasn't until I saw people, who mattered to me, drown themselves in the loudness of life that their actions became their words because no one would listen.
The harder they tried to be recognized and the louder they spoke, the more difficult it became for outsiders to understand their intentions.
Others could hear them, but never listened.
Their last resort was to act out of the desire for attention and because their actions spoke louder than words, it was much easier for others to make something of what they saw with their own two eyes, rather than straining their eardrums attempting to listen to their story.
"What's wrong?" became the opener for their conversations, yet I sat their wondering why do we not ask what's right?
It's as if some only care when everything has been damaged and only a few are there when life is going well, but it is rare to find those who will help you mend the broken and be your support when creating a new foundation.
It was the silence that taught me to recognize those who could handle the nothingness in the air and actually listen to it.
I found the truth floating in the silence.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Me, She, & Poetry
What we are never changes, but
who we are rearranges
who we are rearranges
just as often as the seasons change.
I've changed so much, I've forgotten what I am
although I've never even met
the real me at all.
I've fallen so deep, I cant keep track of what I lack
because stacks of disguises pile high
as I go through self destruction
almost every other week,
while I seek for
self foundation.
This daily concentration
leads me Elsewhere.
I mean, where else can I find Me?
I don't even know who She is...
Stop acting like you know Me,
when there's no Me
that has been constructed.
When the definition of
"self"
is published,
copywritten,
with all rights reserved...
that's when you'll deserve
to know She.
Show Me who or what makes Me what I am-
for what I am never changes..
for what I am never changes..
I'd like to stop changing,
stop rearranging
the pieces of me
because I believe I am only ONE piece.
A masterpiece
of "self" - whoever that may be.
...
Dusting my shelves of history now,
Dusting my shelves of history now,
the ongoing mystery has evolved,
been solved,
and discovered, uncovering the
"what" that is missing-
I am "what" you make of me...
I am poetry.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Chances
There's something about being on the top floor of a parking garage, on a chilly night, sippin' hot tea, and conversing about life that makes time sort of slow down. Listening to the rustling of the leaves on every tree branch hanging above the parking garage echoes in the emptiness, while a brief silence lingers in the air as we sit on the roof of my car thinking.
"Don't you wish you could just go back and change parts of the past?"
"No. What's done is done. That's what the future is for...to make things better than whatever it is that already happened."
Silence.
Our history begins to replay in my mind while I think,
"I wish we never met. You mean too much to me now."
"I know exactly what you're thinking...just be patient."
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
A Poem From The Past
Loose Threads
I envy You because you've got a love that's unbreakable
and
I'm no where close enough to be capable
of
reaching out into some one else's heart and
understanding their soul
as if it were my own.
See, pieces of me have been sewn
back together, but still loosely hang
only attached by the threads that remind me
of past struggles, so I juggle
these obstacles on the daily
mainly
to keep this smile going
but,
I continue sewing
the pieces of me that remain
detached.
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
hoping to achieve
the search for Mr. Sewing Machine,
but so far all I've seen
is a bundle of Mr. Wrongs
that keep tearing these stitches apart.
So I continue to write -
I write
about Mr. Right,
trying to fight
the pain that lingers
and hangs by single threads,
but these bleeding fingers
continue to sew.
The more stitches involved
the less I am capable of
evolving into
the woman I am
behind all these loose threads.
I envy You.
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